Boredom Series — Episode 8 | 10

Learning to be bored. The phrase may seem strange, even provocative. Nobody wants to be bored... and it is precisely one of the states we most instinctively flee from.

Yet, psychological research and therapeutic approaches converge on one point: the ability to sit with boredom without immediately seeking to escape it is a skill. And like any skill, it can be acquired.

This text does not pretend to eliminate boredom. It suggests exploring paths that allow us to experience it differently.

Boredom tolerance: what are we talking about?

Boredom tolerance is the ability to endure the discomfort of this state without reacting impulsively. It is not about liking boredom, pretending it isn't unpleasant, or ignoring it. It is about being able to stay with it for as long as it lasts, without automatically triggering an escape.

This skill is correlated with better outcomes in several areas of mental health: fewer anxiety symptoms, better emotional regulation, and lower susceptibility to impulsive behaviors and behavioral addictions. It is also associated with greater creativity and a better ability to engage sustainably in meaningful tasks.

It is built progressively, through repeated exposure to boredom under controlled conditions. Not through sheer willpower, but through gradual and gentle practice.

What behavioral activation therapy offers

Behavioral activation therapy is an approach derived from CBT that looks particularly at avoidance and withdrawal as maintaining factors for depression and anxiety.

In this context, boredom is treated as an experience to be gone through rather than avoided. The goal is not to eliminate boredom, but to reduce the hold that its avoidance has on behavior. The therapist helps the patient identify their usual avoidance strategies (scrolling, snacking, procrastination, overactivity), measure their medium-term cost, and progressively explore what happens when they are not used.

A central tool: activity monitoring, noting, hour by hour, what we do and what sense of accomplishment or pleasure it produces. This exercise makes the link between avoidance behaviors and the drop in overall satisfaction visible.

The practice of tolerance: some concrete paths

Mindfulness approaches offer an effective framework. The central idea: instead of treating boredom as a problem to be solved, we propose to observe it as one experience among many.

→ Where is it located in the body?

→ How does it evolve over time?

→ What thoughts accompany it?

→ What impulse does it trigger?

This observation without judgment is often enough to defuse the automatic reaction. Not because the boredom disappears, but because the relationship to boredom changes: we are no longer carried away by it, we sit with it.

Gradual exposure is another path: deliberately granting oneself periods without external stimulation, initially short (five minutes without a phone, without music, without a task), then progressively longer.

When boredom persists: recognizing the limits

These tools work well for ordinary boredom. They reach their limits when boredom is chronic, intense, and accompanied by other symptoms.

A persistent and generalized boredom lasting for several weeks can be the sign of a depressive episode. Anhedonia (loss of pleasure in activities usually enjoyed) can look like boredom while being different in nature and management.

Similarly, boredom that is very difficult to tolerate, associated with marked restlessness and impulsive behaviors, may be part of an ADHD or borderline personality disorder dynamic, which require a specialized evaluation.

In these cases, trying to "train yourself to be bored" without an appropriate therapeutic framework can be insufficient or even counterproductive.

In summary

Learning to be bored is actually learning something much larger: to stay with oneself. Not to flee from our own internal states as soon as they become uncomfortable. To trust that the discomfort passes, and that what we find on the other side is often more interesting than we would have thought.

This is not an easy lesson. But it is perhaps one of the most useful of our time.

Next episode: Existential boredom: what if it were an invitation?

⚠ If you are experiencing persistent suffering related to boredom, depression, or anxiety, your primary care physician can guide you. In France, the MonPsy initiative provides access to partially reimbursed consultations with a psychologist: monpsy.sante.gouv.fr