Boredom Series — Episode 8 | 10

Learning to be bored. The phrase may seem strange, even provocative. No one wants to be bored... and it is precisely one of the states we flee from most instinctively.

Yet, psychological research and therapeutic approaches converge on one point: the ability to sit with boredom without immediately trying to escape it is a skill. And like any skill, it can be acquired.

This text does not claim to eliminate boredom. It proposes to explore the paths that allow us to go through it differently.

Boredom tolerance: what are we talking about?

Boredom tolerance is the ability to endure the discomfort of this state without reacting to it impulsively. It is not about liking boredom, pretending it is not unpleasant, or ignoring it. It is about being able to stay with it while it lasts, without it automatically triggering an escape.

This skill is correlated with better outcomes in several areas of mental health: fewer anxiety symptoms, better emotional regulation, less vulnerability to impulsive behaviors and behavioral addictions. It is also associated with greater creativity and a better ability to engage with sustained effort in meaningful tasks.

It is built progressively, through repeated exposure to boredom under controlled conditions. Not by sheer willpower, but through gradual and benevolent practice.

What behavioral activation therapy offers

Behavioral activation therapy is an approach derived from CBT that is particularly interested in avoidance and withdrawal as factors maintaining depression and anxiety.

Within this framework, boredom is treated as an experience to go through rather than to avoid. The goal is not to eliminate boredom, but to reduce the grip that its avoidance has on behavior. The therapist helps the patient identify their usual avoidance strategies (scrolling, snacking, procrastination, overactivity), measure their medium-term cost, and progressively explore what happens when they are not used.

A central tool: activity monitoring, noting hourly what we do and what sense of accomplishment or pleasure it produces. This exercise makes visible the link between avoidance behaviors and a decline in overall satisfaction.

The practice of tolerance: some concrete paths

Mindfulness approaches offer an effective framework. The central idea: instead of treating boredom as a problem to be solved, we propose to observe it as one experience among others.

→ Where is it located in the body?

→ How does it evolve over time?

→ What thoughts accompany it?

→ What impulse does it trigger?

This non-judgmental observation is often enough to defuse the automatic reaction. Not because the boredom disappears, but because the relationship to boredom changes: we are no longer carried away by it, we accompany it.

Gradual exposure is another path: deliberately allowing oneself periods without external stimulation, initially short (five minutes without a phone, without music, without tasks), then progressively longer.

When boredom resists: recognizing the limits

These tools work well for ordinary boredom. They reach their limits when boredom is chronic, intense, and accompanied by other symptoms.

A persistent and generalized boredom for several weeks can be a sign of a depressive episode. Anhedonia (loss of pleasure in usually enjoyed activities) can look like boredom while being different in its nature and management.

Likewise, boredom that is very difficult to tolerate, associated with marked restlessness and impulsive behaviors, may be part of an ADHD or borderline personality disorder issue, which require specialized evaluation.

In these cases, trying to "train ourselves to be bored" without an appropriate therapeutic framework can be insufficient or even counterproductive.

What it changes in practice

Start small: five minutes a day without any external stimulation, in a comfortable place, observing what goes on inside oneself without trying to change it. Repeated regularly, this is one of the simplest practices to develop boredom tolerance.

Keep a logbook for a week: when does boredom occur? what is its intensity? what is the usual reaction? This simple exercise makes visible patterns we paid no attention to.

If boredom is chronic, intense, and resistant despite these attempts, a consultation with a psychologist or doctor is the next step. It is not a defeat, it is an acknowledgment that some states need professional support to evolve.

To conclude

Learning to be bored is actually learning something much larger: to stay with oneself. Not to flee from our own internal states as soon as they become uncomfortable. To trust that the discomfort passes, and that what we find on the other side is often more interesting than we would have believed.

This is not an easy lesson. But it is perhaps one of the most useful of our time.

Next episode: Existential boredom: what if it were an invitation?

⚠ If you experience persistent distress related to boredom, depression, or anxiety, your primary care physician can guide you. In France, the MonPsy initiative provides access to partially reimbursed consultations with a psychologist: monpsy.sante.gouv.fr